Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely, The Titanic

Dear J.K. Rowling,

Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?

Sincerely, Anonymous

Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely, Canada

Dear Boyfriend,

I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.

Sincerely, Spiders

Dear Voldemort,

So they screwed up your nose too?

Sincerely, Michael Jackson

Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

Sincerely, Google

Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely, BP

Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely, 1985

Dear Taylor Swift,

If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.

Sincerely, Shakespeare

Dear Soccer Fans,

B B B B B B Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z

Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z!

Sincerely, Vuvuzelas

Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely, God

Dear Rubik's Cube,

Done!

Sincerely, Colorblind

Dear Santa,

Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho's.

Sincerely, Tiger Woods

Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,

I. Can't. Breathe.

Sincerely, Your Balls

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,

I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream... What now?

Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio

Dear Sleeping Beauty,

I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and totally save China for my man.

All you had to do was wake up.

Sincerely, Mulan

Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely, Unimpressed

Dear Prince Charming,

You've got some explaining to do!

Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty