A young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

“Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me”.
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, “You’re not really a redhead are you?”
“No,” she says, “I’m actually a blonde.”
“I thought so,” the doctor says. “Your finger is broken.”

At last a male blonde joke.

There were two blonde guys working for the city council. One would dig a hole, the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.

When we occasionally have a really bad day, and just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

If you ask kids a question you better be ready for an answer.

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.

 

A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): Ground, what is our start clearance time? Ground (in English): If you want an answer, you must speak in English.
Lufthansa (in English): I am a German, flying a German aeroplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?
Unknown voice from another plane (with British Accent): Because we won the bloody war.

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for A Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. Oh and…….